James Mayell

Sometimes I write things and post them online

Time

Time is a force, and it will surely take it's course. It will take from all of you taking with it all the things you had planned to do.

As I get older I'm starting to experience the phenomenon of time going by faster and faster.. Not literally things speeding up, but the feeling of looking back on a week and thinking 'holy shit how is it sunday again'. This feeling scares me.

My life at the moment seems to consist of Monday morning, sunday night. Everything in between is a blur. The days go slowly but the weeks, months and years are whizzing by at an alarming rate. That's not to say that I'm not enjoying life, because I am, more than ever. I have everything I could ever dream of having right now, and I couldn't be happier.

One of my biggest fears is thinking I have plenty of time to do something with my life, looking away for a minute and suddenly I'm an old man with little time left and that something still hasn't been done. I've experienced the feeling of putting things off until the last minute many times. Homework, watering plants, paying invoices, replying to messages and generally getting stuff done, but it's always the thought of "I have plenty of time to do that" that turns into "holy shit this needs to be done by tomorrow" with seemingly no in between.

I'm not afraid of getting old, it's inevitable, and besides, I have a good 40 or so years before I'm even getting to that point. But here we are again, saying I have plenty of time.. Some day I'm gonna wake up and realise I'm just a little older than I used to be.

What I do worry about though is getting old and not having achieved anything. I feel like I need to achieve something with my life, and the thought of getting old and regretting not doing things scares me. Better make sure I do it right first time then eh?

But hey, I'm 18, why should I be worrying about this? I have a whole exciting life ahead of me. Things to do, people to see, experiences to be had. And I can't wait! And hopefully it'll be pretty good too!

This past year has gone so quickly, and almost every aspect of my life has changed significantly. I look back at what I was doing a year ago and it seems like yesterday, like what happened to all that time in between. Wouldn't it be great if the human brain could store every second of every day in great detail, that way life would seemingly go at a normal rate.. Perhaps our current setup is for the best. Eh, I'm no scientist.

I guess what I'm getting at here is pretty simple enough. We should make the most of every second we have on this planet, take oppurtunities in our lives, and not let it pass us by because it won't last forever, but we can make it as good as we want it to be. I try not to think about my finite amount of time on this planet, death isn't something that scares me, it's inevitable and not something I see worthy of worry about, but getting there without fulfilling my life goals is. I think it's important to have a reminder of that sometimes and to appreciate your blip of a life on this planet in this galaxy within our universe.. It's really rather amazing. I'll leave you with this Monty Python clip on Life in general.

"Man alone measures time, and because of this he endures a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear that time is running out.."

Thanks for reading